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So here's a little bit of honesty. [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
I turn and trip on my clumsy heart

Say you'll never leave, please
this war inside my mind
is killing me <3

Where I've been [Wednesday. Mar. 2nd, 2016|12:28 pm]
I can give you death with the look upon my face.
2016. This is going to be my year. This journal is so crazy to me. Reading it is like reading a book about someone else. I can't believe I ever felt so horrible. I wake up everyday and I am so happy to be alive. So thankful and so grateful. I wish I could have known how beautiful life was back then, when I really needed it. I really hated myself back then. It's been almost 10 years since I graduated High school. Who would have know I would end up here. Sitting at the desk of the smoke shop I manage, that I have been managing for 2 years. Life takes so many twists and turns. I wish I would have enjoyed it back then. Life is a blessing. I am blessed.
link1 Wanna be an anarchist

It's crazy. [Tuesday. Dec. 9th, 2014|10:29 am]
I can give you death with the look upon my face.
How years can pass and so many things can change. I wouldn't even know where to begin. I will post a nice entry after I go back and read some old entries.
link anarchist

(no subject) [Saturday. Oct. 29th, 2011|01:29 am]
I can give you death with the look upon my face.
I know I'm not that girl for you. She was and is that girl for you. But you see, I kind of think you might have been that guy for me. Because I know I wrecked it. I always do, it's kind of my style. It's just that everything about your face was perfect. And not to be all Justin Beiber, but when you smiled, I smiled. I laughed when you laughed. And I cried that time you cried. I just can't believe I won't be seeing your face anymore. God how could I have done this to myself? I just....I just really thought he actually liked me. But actually, I was wrong.
link anarchist

(no subject) [Friday. Feb. 18th, 2011|02:31 pm]
I can give you death with the look upon my face.
This time I thought things were real.
You said they were, what happened?
You were a priority, was I an option?
I let you see a side of me that I don't share with anyone.
Promises are just words unless they are fulfilled.
you knew from the beginning all I had to offer you was my heart,
I'm sorry that wasn't enough.
link1 Wanna be an anarchist

(no subject) [Sunday. Jul. 18th, 2010|03:30 am]
I can give you death with the look upon my face.
I just...I can't do it. I can't be half in your life when I want you wholey in mine. If you don't want all of me, you don't get any of me. It's like I have to do this for myself too now. And I can't change anything if were still talking...and it hurts so much. I cry all the time and sometimes I can't stop. I try to sleep at night and I can't because thoughts of you plague me and take me back and throw me forward to a life without you. A life I never thought I would have to live. I really believed this was going to work and you would always loved me just as much as I loved and needed you...but I can't force it and neither could you anymore. I just never mattered to you as much as you mattered to me. I really care what you think about me and I never do anything if I know it will hurt you. How am I supposed to live like this? How? I feel so stupid for thinking you really wanted it as much as I did. I'm writing this right now because this is everything I've been thinking and I'm hoping this will help me wowrk through it. Because I can't think about it anymore or it will kill me. It's altrady killing me...I cannot imagine a life where I can't lay next to you and rub your back and kiss you and smile..and love. I can't even keep it together right now.
link1 Wanna be an anarchist

The smartest shit I did was take the bullets outta that gun. [Wednesday. Feb. 24th, 2010|01:48 pm]
I can give you death with the look upon my face.
[Tags|, ]
[feels |exanimateexanimate]
[Listens to |Eminem]

I have so much resentment built up inside of me. I've been talking to my mom about it, and she says I have to learn to forgive Matt everyday. And it's true. He thinks it's easier than it is to have to forgive the person you love everyday. I wish things were so different, I wish things would have turned out like you said they would Matt. I fell for it a couple years back when you said you'd never hurt me, boy was I a fool. Boy am I still a fool.

All I do is listen to Eminem, whose lyrics are brash and full of hatered. I feel the same way. I like how hes so angry and just lets it flow. I'm so angry too Slim Shady.
link6 Wanna be an anarchist

Mmmmhohhh. [Wednesday. Jul. 16th, 2008|09:48 am]
I can give you death with the look upon my face.
[Listens to |Pearl Jam]

Today is the come down.
I can already feel it.
I can't stand to be here any longer.
I'm going to lose my freakin mind.
I need a break from this place.
There is not one content moment when I'm at home.
I hate feeling this way but there is nothing I can do about it.
Awe I just wish everything didn't need fixing.
I feel like I need a sedative.
This is not going to work for much longer.
link anarchist

(no subject) [Tuesday. Apr. 8th, 2008|11:50 am]
I can give you death with the look upon my face.
Everyone has a past.
Good thing I have amnesia.
Because if I didn't,
you'd be dead right now.
link3 Wanna be an anarchist

I am colorblind [Wednesday. Dec. 12th, 2007|12:11 am]
I can give you death with the look upon my face.
I am ready.
I am ready.
link anarchist

(no subject) [Saturday. Oct. 6th, 2007|11:12 pm]
I can give you death with the look upon my face.
Oh I hate this.
And you
And me
And us.
I used to know things.
But lately I feel as if I don't.
We were wrong.
She didn't live forever.
She is gone.
I am gone.
We are gone.
As for tomorrow-
it will be the same.
You and I
two different lives.
And that girl won't soften
she'll remain stone.
And one day
She will break
and you will break.
You'll be broken
Until you're gone.

link1 Wanna be an anarchist

(no subject) [Thursday. Jul. 12th, 2007|12:09 pm]
I can give you death with the look upon my face.
Saw Harry Potter on Tuesday night, at 12:01.
Greatness all around.
link anarchist

Alive [Thursday. Jun. 28th, 2007|01:16 pm]
I can give you death with the look upon my face.
Each number represents a different person.

1.Sometimes I wonder if you realize how ridiculous you are.
2.I have a crush on you and I'm pretty sure you know all about it. Let's get married.
3.I will always be better than you.
4.You think you're like God, and you're not even close.
5.You make me laugh like I used to.
6.Everything will always be the same with us and I love that.
7.You're like a brother and I love your goofy faces.
8.You and I are like 2 Hot Pockets, we come in one box.

end///
link4 Wanna be an anarchist

(no subject) [Thursday. Feb. 15th, 2007|03:55 pm]
I can give you death with the look upon my face.
"I thought about buying a crack house."
link3 Wanna be an anarchist

(no subject) [Thursday. Feb. 24th, 2005|03:42 pm]
I can give you death with the look upon my face.

Friends Only.
I bitch and be emo alot, get over it.
I post pictures all the time.
I dye my hair most of the time.
I'll change to try to save myself.
Honor thy Pink Floyd.

Keep it real.
link42 Wanna be an anarchist

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